Bridesmaid Ideas

You Were Fired From the Bridal Party - Now What?

Bridesmaid Ideas

You Were Fired From the Bridal Party - Now What?

by Cassandra Key on Oct 14 2018
We recently wrote about how to make a graceful exit out of the bridal party (on your own terms), but what if you were kicked out? No matter what the reason (and yes, even if it was your fault), feeling ostracized is a bummer. Especially if you've already dropped major cash on a dress, hair and makeup, and the like. And the emotional side of things is just as painful.  So what's a gal to do? How should you react, and is it okay to still attend the wedding? Here are a few tips to help you navigate this situation. Try not to take it personally. It's normal to feel hurt, but depending on what went down, it might not be all about you. Maybe there is something deeper going on that you don’t know about. Or maybe you know exactly what's going on and if you have no one else to blame but yourself. Either way, it's best to wash your hands of any drama and move on. If you feel it's necessary to talk about it with the bride-to-be, do so in a respectful way. Communication never hurts when it's handled properly. But don't go into a discussion with your walls and defenses up. Take some time to cool off, if you need to, before confronting the bride.  To attend or not attend the wedding? That is the question. And it really depends on the situation. First, consider the relationship. Who is the bride to you? Best friend? Relative? If she asked you to be in the bridal party, chances are you have a strong friendship and you should probably still attend the wedding.  But if she hasn't made it clear, communicate with her about the issue. Ask her where you both stand and how she feels about you going to the wedding. If you just flat out don't even want to go, then you should probably let her know that as well. You might try calling her and letting her know you don't feel comfortable attending, but you'd like to work on the friendship (if applicable). Again, examine your unique situation and follow your instincts. Consider compensation. Money issues are a bit tricky, but if you’ve already made travel plans and/or bought a dress, see if you can get compensated for at least part of what you’ve already put in. Check out the airline's cancellation policy and if they offer refunds. See if you can return the bridesmaid dress or sell to a place like Pre-Owned Wedding Dresses or Tradesy. In the end, whether you made a mistake or the bride became a bridezilla, what's done is done and there's no changing the past. You can only move forward. Maybe that means forgiving and forgetting, salvaging a worthwhile friendship, saying you're sorry, or cutting the cord for good. Assess your situation, listen to your heart, and do what's best for you and the bride. 
How to Drop Out of the Bridal Party

Bridesmaid Ideas

How to Drop Out of the Bridal Party

by Cassandra Key on Oct 12 2018
If you're a bridesmaid or maid of honor or anyone who's been chosen to be a part of the bridal party and feel like you might need to bow out, don't feel bad. There are many reasons why a wedding party member might consider a graceful exit. For starters, committing to the bridal party is a big deal. The bride counts on her bride tribe, and as a team, decisions affect the group. But life happens, finances get tight, overwhelm set in. Whatever the situation is, if you're thinking about dropping out, doing so in a respectful and supportive manner will ease tension and stress. Here are some ideas on how to gracefully drop out of the bridal party. Consider your reasons for dropping out. Is it a financial thing? Short on time? Tension with other bridal party members? If it's because you're not getting along with another another bridesmaid, reconsider before you say 'Later!' If it's not too bad, stay committed for the bride's sake. Stick to your duties and try and not interact, except in a professional manner, with the other bridesmaid. If it’s for financial reasons or you feel that you've over committed, let the bride know you won’t be able to put your all into the wedding planning. If she's cool with that and still wants your help, awesome! If not, let her know she's free to bring someone else in as a replacement. Give her plenty of notice. If possible, let the bride know of your plans to bow out not too long after she's asked you to be a bridesmaid/maid of honor. Waiting until a few weeks or even a couple of months before the wedding could be devastating. Of course, there are some situations that can't be helped (a death in the family for instance), but for the most part, consider letting the bride know as soon as possible.  And PLEASE don't commit to being a bridesmaid then ghost the bride-to-be. That's just frustrating and disrespectful.  Let her know you can occasionally help. If you know for sure you won't be able to be a part of the bridal party, but still want to lend a helping hand as a nice gesture, let the bride know when you're available. If you can spare a weekend to help her with some DIY projects, give her a heads up or let her know she can call/text you if she needs an extra pair of hands every once in awhile. Keep in touch. Leaving the bridal party doesn't mean you can't check in with the bride. Giving her a call or having coffee together shows your support and that you still value your friendship.