How to Handle a Difficult Bridesmaid

From envy to dress disgust to micro managing, it's not always the bride who goes a little cray during wedding planning. Bridesmaids have their dark sides too, and if you find yourself dealing with a difficult bridesmaid or maid of honor, don't fire her just yet. You picked her for a reason, right? And besides, you don't want to totally smash a friendship over a few problems. Instead, keep these things in mind when confronting a difficult bridesmaid and you'll be able to handle her with ease.


One of the best ways to handle a difficult bridesmaid is to keep the lines of communication open. Whether it's between you and an individual or you and the whole group, communication is key.

Encourage the bridal party to communicate with each other as well. Let the bridesmaids know they can turn to the maid of honor and yourself if they have questions and concerns. Ideally, they will discuss issues with the maid of honor first (she's like the team captain), but they should know that your door is open as well. Go team!

Be Up Front

Early on in wedding planning, get your bridesmaids together and let them know what you expect from them and what your vision is for the wedding. Be honest with them about their duties, what kind of dresses you envision them in, the amount of money you think they'll need for dress/accessories, etc. 

Knowing up front what you want leaves less room for unwanted surprises later on. Plus, if a 'maid doesn't think she'll be able to take on certain responsibilities or afford to actually be a bridesmaid, she can kindly bow out or talk to you about her concerns.

Go With the Flow

Even though you have a vision for your wedding that you'll share with your bridesmaids, you must also remain flexible and not get your veil in a wad if every little detail doesn't come together in the way you had hoped.

If a bridesmaid is late getting a particular task done or is falling behind on her duties, don't assume that she's just being lazy or doesn't care about you or her role in your wedding. Try to understand what her situation is and where she's coming from. Again, communicate. It really is the key to understanding and moving forward with ease.

Respect and Appreciate

It's easy to get caught up in the wedding planning spotlight, but many times people act out because they don't feel appreciated or respected. If your bridesmaid busted her butt putting together your paper lanterns and didn't get so much as a thank you from you, she might get upset, and rightly so.

Your bridesmaids have their own lives and you must remember that they can't always drop everything to help you with your wedding. Respect their situations and their feelings, and always, always let them know how much you appreciate their help, support, and friendship.

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